arranged marriage dream

animals in building dream

aliens dream

witch bubble dream

Night of November 21, 2009

The dream started off with me acting as some sort of consultant for some kind of police force. I thought it was just the police but it seemed more important somehow, like the FBI or some sort of special task force. They even gave me a badge that was kind of like a hologram. I ended up dating one of the officers and though I can't remember what he looked like, I just remember that he's caring and handsome and we had great sex.

We got word that he was kidnapped and went to a motel to try and rescue him. When we busted in, it turned out that it was a trap and that he had never been captured to begin with. These people cornered us in a field and wired it to explode and took down our names as captives. Somehow, I managed to slip out and made my way back to our headquarters in an attempt to contact my boyfriend. When I got back, he had already heard what had happened and left to try to rescue them, leaving me a note as to where he had gone. The girl at the headquarters who gave me the note went with me and insisted we stop for sushi before we went. I forced her to eat fast, and then I snuck into the compound. By now they had built a huge compound complete with pavilions, medical facilities, and an execution chamber. I snuck into the main room where they were keeping people, and no one was the wiser since my name had been taken down when we were captured earlier anyways. Some of my comrades were there, as well as some children, one of which was a child that I basically acted as a parent towards. They were sorting the people into people that they could brainwash and indoctrinate (including the children) and those who couldn't were sent to be executed. All I could think of was to figure out a way to save my comrades and my boyfriend, who were sure to be in the executed line.

I somehow lied my way into being in the same room as a children and discovered a few things from this one woman - one was that the person running the show was actually my stepmother (Joanna) and that she was trying to stage a political coup to take over. I also learned that the people seemed well aware they were in a cult but figured they'd just go with it. A lot of them had been captured and go with it so that they don't get killed. The child that I was like a parent towards was very clever and managed to pretend to be sick and talk to me, but we were caught and I was sent to the execution line. As the line got shorter, the part of my mind that knew that it was a dream was expecting something to happen so the dream can continue instead of me being executed. Nothing happened though and when I got to the front of the line, I asked to go to the bathroom because I told them I didn't want to pee myself while being executed. They let me go but stationed two guards outside the door. By the time I got back, still nothing had happened to interrupt my imminent death so I started to flirt with the executioner (who was quite cute and I also got the feeling that he was not quite into the whole cult thing) and convinced him that I could still be indoctrinated. I told him that the leader was my stepmom and he told me she had ordered my execution, and I remember thinking my father could not possibly know about this... He told me to go see someone and I instead snuck through the hallways to some kind of open arena.

In the arena, I ran into some of the women from the room earlier and they told me that they just found out Joanna had locked all the doors and were planning to stage an event to distract everyone, then quietly leave in a mercedes and burn everyone inside. They told me to save myself so I found my way through some classrooms and found a backdoor that wasn't locked. After circling the compound to the outside, I ran into a group of people who had also escaped (including the executioner) and some of my comrades. We wanted to go back in to save other people so we went back to the classroom door, and found out that the classroom had been emptied and the lights were off. All of a sudden a bunch of medical personal rushed out with gurneys, and they said that they found out what was happening and didn't want to let their patients die, and that there were more inside across the courtyard.

We were concerned that we wouldn't be able to get past the courtyard without being noticed, but once we reached there, we saw that the diversion being staged was actually a car race. Two of us girls subdued two female drivers and took their cars. The cars were pink and frilly because they were girl's cars, with levers on the right to start the engine instead of the left like the boys' cars. Because of that it took us a second to figure out how to start because the lever on the left didn't work when we tried to copy the men. Finally we got our cars going and managed to take out a lot of the leaders with our cars.

Then I woke up. Stupid phone....

Night of November 7, 2009

Written on the 8th of november

I had a strange dream last night that was surprisingly pleasant. I dreamed that I was in some sort of class, and I met a guy and his friend. We had some trouble with our teacher, but he was defeated, and this guy and I started to talk and flirt. He was Asian, possibly Korean, about 5'11" or so, well-dressed, and he told me he worked for the FBI in their video games division, which makes no sense to me. Later on I also found out that he was a lawyer.

His lecherous father made a pass at me, for which he was very angry and partially disgusted, but seemed to view me in a new light when I told his father off and especially told him that his son surpassed him in every way. For some reason or another, I had to move into his house and stayed in his room, though always chastely clothed and he gave up his bed to me and slept on the floor. We would go out and drive around and talk for hours, and I had never felt so safe and loved and warm with anyone in my life. At one point, his friends joined us (including the friend from the class) and they had plans to go to LA. He told me that he would drop me off at home and I was hurt that he had not wanted to include me in his plans. I assumed perhaps he did not care for me after all, but when I got home I found a note from his friend that said I had impressed him a lot and that he was most likely in love with me. Flash forward a little bit and it appears we were married and woke up in bed with him cuddling me and telling me he loved me. I dont' think I have ever felt so happy in my conscious life, much less in my subconscious.

The dream ended with a feeling of dread where I felt as if he was going to leave me. Perhaps it was because of my despair at ever having something like this happen to me, or perhaps it was my brain kicking me in the head and telling me it was too good to be true or that happiness just doesn't happen. Regardless I would like to hold on to the wonders of that dream and forget the ending.

Perhaps a large part of my recent depression is loneliness. Is it still depression if it stems from loneliness? I am more inclined to believe that the loneliness was a trigger. Or maybe my brain is desperately trying to find a solution and I have convinced myself that love would solve my problems. All I can hope for now is that I have another wonderful dream tonight.

Another dream from childhood

The second recurring dream that I had a lot as a child was probably inspired by the movie Warlock (as I later found out).

I dreamt about this long haired male witch who had scary powers and was looking for something. All I remember are flashback scenes

- Someone in a dingy bathroom popping their eyeballs out into the sink
- A faceoff in the desert
- A scene where they were trying to restrain him in this bedroom with fingercuffs and one guy looks into his eyes, causing his eyes to bleed and his hair to turn white.

I spent years trying to figure out what movie I got this from, and recently I have found "Warlock" which seems like a likely candidate. I'll have to rent it to know for sure...

Dream from childhood (maybe 5 years old)

My most common recurring dream from childhood was this dream that I was in my house at 300 Monroe Avenue and aliens descended from a spaceship in the middle of Wyckoff. Out came all these aliens who were all dressed like Arnold in the Terminator, and they were killing everyone with machine guns. They came to my house and shot my mom (who was wearing a colorful striped sweater) and I'm assuming the rest of my family. I ran out into the town to find it misty and deserted. This is all I remember....